Champion of Breakfasts!

Old Coconuts

May 242013

Have I mentioned how awesome the fruit is here? Yeah… It’s a paradise.

Don’t expect journalistic balance or distance — I loooove coconuts. (Turns out I’m a coconut-vampire, and I’ve come to terms with this.) Staying at the Aabana, I mentioned this to Mike who saw to it that coconuts were waiting for me the very next day.

I then spent a pleasant 15 minutes hacking away at a green coconut like some extra from the apes-and-bones scene of 2001: A Space Odyssey until I finally got to the delicious beverage hidden inside. (The elegance of the fresh coconut juice vendor in Manila was completely absent.) Photos of the damage coming up…

Malapascua Island

Philippines, Travel No Responses »

May 192013

The red pin is Cebu City (the airport is on the connected island), and Malapascua is where I am – the blue target up top.

My China visa requires a re-entry every 90 days. Last time I went to the Philippines hoping to visit the islands and do some diving. Turns out that my last visit coincided with the Easter holiday, when everyone in the country decides to visit the islands. This time I checked the holiday schedules first (all clear), and I’m here as the tourist season draws to a close.
Continue reading »

Temple of Heaven

China, Travel No Responses »

May 122013

As mentioned in a previous post, I recently went to the Temple of Heaven with MaSiDao. It was a bright, clear Spring day, and if you’re in Beijing looking for a lovely bit of ancient China — this is as good a spot as any.

The first structure you’ll encounter (coming in from the north gate) is the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests. Built in 1420, re-built in 1545 (and probably restored very recently – but the signs don’t mention this), it was used every January — which is referred to as “early spring” — to pray for… well, good harvests.

More pictures of that temple and others… Continue reading »

Questionable translations 3

China, Language No Responses »

May 112013

This odd bit of English appears on the giant map / historical background sign at the north entrance to Beijing’s Temple of Heaven.

Unless the Tauntaun scene from The Empire Strikes Back was a documentary of what went on during Ming dynasty rituals (and there’s only one way diving into animal carcasses ends well… not counting the Dogs in Elk tragi-comedy), it’s likely they meant “Divine Kitchen.”

“Dive-in” = “Divine.” Sure, why not. The neighboring structure also has a spelling error but the function… remains clear.

Once past that interesting sign, it was a gorgeous day at the Temple of Heaven (天坛 Tiantan). Continue reading »

A Face for Dumplings

China, Food No Responses »

May 052013

On my way to visit Peking University last week, I stopped off at a baozi (包子) restaurant – steamed buns!

If you’ve ever had dim sum, you’ve had some bao zi. Filled with meat or vegetables, they’re just fantastic. And this place had great food. It’s just, the sign in the dining room (ostensibly of the founder) was… wrong. I don’t know what expression he had on his face, or what message he was trying to convey (is that a thumbs-up, or is he suggesting we go somewhere else because these taste funny?), but it didn’t look like “welcome in, have some great food!”

Maybe it was a warning: eat too many baozi, and you’ll start to resemble one.

Decide for yourself:

[Honestly, I feel a bit guilty mocking this sign. It's half his expression, and half his appearance - which we only have so much control over. That said, take a critical look at the picture you're hanging in your dining room, and decide if it's really appetizing.]

Having eaten the (pretty good) dumplings I then went with Ivy, my host for the day, to tour Peking University (they haven’t transitioned to “Beijing” – possibly because it’s a well known name). It’s a ridiculously beautiful campus, with some old buildings, small gardens, and winding pathways. If you’re in town, it’s worth the visit. Some pictures here, hopefully good enough to make up for that last one.

Questionable Translations 2

China, Errata, Language 2 Responses »

May 042013

Bringing “dark humor” to new depths, Natalie sent me this ad from a digital billboard in the ~~Beijing~~ Xiamen airport:

Dark, dark sunglasses…

Some Chinese friends suggested that Helen Keller – who for years was one of the few western writers whose works were permitted in China – was also one of the few western faces known well throughout the country. This might create a strong visual association with dark glasses, unassociated to her blindness (assuming more people saw her face than read her book). It’s a theory – I’ll go with it until someone proposes a better reason for the brand name. (“Tastelessness” was a strong runner-up.)

War Bird

China, Errata, Travel 1 Response »

Apr 292013

Went to the China Military Museum (actual name: “The Military Museum of Chinese People’s Revolution”), which is currently undergoing renovations. (It’s Spring: everything in Beijing is undergoing renovations.) While the inside was closed off, the outside exhibits were still open for viewing. Lots of tanks, lots of artillery, a few boats, and some planes.

Delicate design, but remain cognizant of its purpose.

I’m not a big fan of war. Violence in general nauseates me. But I went with Masi Dao because he knew there was one item on exhibit which you don’t often get to see: A P51 Mustang. Continue reading »

Questionable Translations

China, Language No Responses »

Apr 262013

While I’m busy filling in the huge gaps in this blog (just added a couple postings about learning Chinese in February and March), I thought I should do something to keep my regular readers interested – all nine of you. (Speaking of whom, a shout out to the friendly guys at San Quentin; good luck at the probation hearing Mad Dog!)

Walking around China, there’s loads of great English translations. And by ‘great’ I mean ‘terrible.’ These aren’t anything new – but they’re still fun. I’ll try to photograph and post as many of the wonderful, terrible ones as I can.

This one comes from a restaurant Tina took me to after practice one day – just down the street from The Lama Temple and Ditan Park in Beijing.

The translation is an idiom: Continue reading »

Chinese White Lightning

China, Food No Responses »

Apr 172013

The local high-octane, almost flavorless, can-be-used-as-a-degreaser alcohol is called ‘Bai Jiu’ (白酒 — literally, “white alcohol”). It becomes only slightly more drinkable when prepared and served at below-zero temperatures. David (one half of the wonderful couple housing me at the moment) likes to infuse a bottle of Bai Jiu with habañeros, which I contend transforms it into a WMD (Weapon of Mouth Destruction).

Red Star, White Lightning: BaiJiu

Fear For Four

China, Errata No Responses »

Apr 172013

…or How Chinese Builders Go Higher, Faster

Whatever you do, don’t mis-pronounce “four” in China. The Pinyin is Si (fourth tone- falling), pronounced somewhere between “seh” and “suh.” When spoken correctly, you will sound like the godfather of the snake Cosa Nostra. A somewhat sibilant, seriously stern similitude (sorry) of Marlon Brando. That’s the number four.

Use the third tone – as if El Capo del Tutti Serpenti experiences a touch of indigestion while hissing – and instead of “four” you said “death.” Death is such bad luck (thankfully, it’s the last bad luck you can have) that people go to great lengths to avoid fours here. Nobody wants a house or apartment with the number four, and if you’re willing to have a four (or more!) in your mobile phone number, the service providers will actually pay you.

It’s similar to the onus borne by the number 13 in the US. Just as with those old buildings in the States missing a “Floor 13″ (do they still skip the 13th floor in new buildings?), many Chinese buildings skip ‘death floor,’ going directly from Floor Three to Five.

But wait, it gets better – it’s not just the fourth floor that’s skipped, it’s any floor with a ‘four’ in it. So you can count out Floors 14 and 24. I haven’t been in a real high-rise here yet, but I imagine the entire 4x block of floors is skipped, jumping from 39 to 50. Then, just to cover all the bases, throw out Floor 13. (Have we outsourced our unlucky numbers to China?) Take a gander at the elevator panel here:

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